I’m still waiting for that moment where everything comes together, but as time goes on, I’m starting to really think it isn’t going to. I suppose I did finish the first rough draft of my first novel during November (NaNoWriMo) so that’s something. I’ll probably never touch it again. I didn’t really write it for consumption. There’s nothing to learn or take from it so it doesn’t really have a purpose not that I couldn’t add some of that in editing, but I don’t know that I care. And to be perfectly honest, it hits a bit too close to home in some ways that I’m not sure I’d want to share it for those reasons. There is one other story I planned to write so maybe that will be the one to share, if I ever write it. I make no promises. I can’t make promises on anything anymore really. I cannot be trusted to not break them.
I’ve been considering getting off social media for a little while. Aside from like the handful of people I interact with or actually pay attention to I have no real need for it or desire to use it. It’s not like I use it for any true purpose or post anything worthwhile anyway. Nothing is really interesting me at the moment. I’ve had some mental setbacks and I need to deal with them once and for all, if possible. And besides, I am not much of a people person, on the internet or in real life (never have been). You would think that by 25 (nearly 26) I would have some idea of who I am or at least who I want to be, but I still have no clue. I thought I knew what I wanted or where I wanted to be, but now I don’t. I need to figure it out and I don’t know how long it will take.
On another note, some of you may have noticed I’ve posted quite a few French songs lately and I want to be clear that it’s not a direct correlation to the attack on Paris. I’ve always loved the language. I don’t use it myself, but I did study some in high school and a semester in college so there’s some knowledge of it. Anyway, my point is I’ve decided to expand my boundaries and music seems like a good place to start and I don’t intend to stick with just French. I’d love to expand to several languages and other cultures and genres as well. I figure that maybe, just maybe it’s time I really started to learn about the world. Especially the way it looks right now it can’t hurt to learn more and music is pretty central so I think it’s a nice place to start, I don’t know. Food might be another place to explore as well.
I know that none of this really matters and likely only one person will probably ever read it so I don’t know why I write here either, but oh well I guess. If more than my normal one person reads this, I apologize for assuming it’s only the one, but without leaving a comment I never truly know if my stuff is being read, not that what I have to say is amazing or important, but anyway I suppose it doesn’t matter, just wanted to throw out an apology just in case. And I’m not looking for people to comment, but just a note that I don’t know if people are reading it, that’s all. I think I’ve lost my point by now.