It seems like there is never enough time to get everything done or done well at least. It's been a crazy year. Some good and some, well, not so good.
With everything going on in the racing world, I thought the "off-season" might be a nice break, but it really hasn't been much of a break. While I may not be doing much as far as racing goes, that doesn't mean it hasn't been weighing heavily on my mind. I won't go into it, but the subject rarely leaves my mind. Besides racing, there's been homework to do, a wedding to plan, a cake to design (for said wedding), reading, Christmas stuff, extracurricular homework, and other stuff that I'm busy doing/thinking about. There's just no time and it leaves my nerves on end so it doesn't take much to set me off.
I'm going to try not to ramble too much. I know sometimes I get kind of carried away. Back to the racing thing, I know there was a point when I started "unfriending" people on Facebook. It was not something I particularly enjoyed doing. I do hope that in the future I can add those particular friends back. I hope that someday we can move past this. A few of these friends are wonderful Bobby fans, but the direction they took and conitinue(d) to take against JTGD made it hard for me to stay sane. Overall, I am disappointed in the continuation of some of what some are saying. I'm not denying that I didn't take the wrong path at the beginning, but since then have tried to see things differently. I am not saying I agree with how things turned out or how things were done, but there's nothing I can do about it. I would like to hear something about what Bobby plans to do next year, whether it is to race or not. I just want to know.
I know, too much again. And I know, same stuff, basically. Just not feeling like everything is going the way that I had hoped. Starting to feel that nothing is going to pan out like I wanted. It just feels off, you know. Pieces fell off the table and have disappeared. The puzzle will never be finished. There will always be holes that I will never be able to fill. I'm having a difficult time accepting that, but sooner or later I'm going to have to face it. If I do it now, perhaps I can move on with my life faster. So here's goodbye to my moving to NC goal/dream. Here's goodbye to my racing related goals/dreams. I just don't think there's any hope left for that, unfortunately. There's just too much I have to do here, that I can't just abandon, that I can't seem to get away from... It's time to let it go. It's not what I want to do, but it's time. The clock is ticking. The days are fading away too quickly. I've run out of time.
Well, I'll stop now. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season! *hugs*