I do not understand why things that I think would be best for me would hurt or be bad for so many people in my life. I do not like disappointing people, I do not like hurting them, and I certainly never want to lose them. So at this point I am still unsure of where to go or what to do that would benefit everyone and not just myself, but I don't know how long those solutions will last without one or both sides losing. I feel so torn between what I want to do, what I can do, and what I should do. Some people tell me I have potential in this or that, but even if I wanted to do them I'm not sure how to get there or if it's actual even possible for me. So in my current situation, I may kind of take this week off and ponder. I do apologize ahead of time for any inconveniences this may cause. However should you need me, you know how to reach me, or at least you should by now....
People often see me as a friendly helpful person, always willing to do whatever it takes to help someone else without even thinking about how it'll work out for me. It's hard sometimes to keep smiling through everything and pretend that everything in my life is perfect. In fact my life is very far from the perfection that is believed. I often am found drifting off into a world of fiction that I wish was reality and what I would consider the perfect life where everything I want just sort of comes to me.
Today, the racing world lost Dan Weldon. The utter horror of that wreck still haunts my memory; I'm glad I wasn't there. I cannot truly imagine the real sheer loss of losing someone that way. I can only grieve and pray the best that I can. The racing world also lost off-road racer Rick Huseman and his brother Jeff. It is not a good day in the racing world, so I cannot stress enough that sometimes you have to slow down to go fast, buckle up, and live every moment of life to the fullest. And I cannot thank each and everyone in my life for being the fabulous people that you are. I love you all!
Je ne suis pas parfait et je n'essaie pas d'être. Je n'accepte pas la façon dont je suis, mais peut-être qu'un jour je vais. J'ai peut-être pas qui tu veux que je sois, mais c'est juste la façon dont il est. Je n'existe pas. Je ne suis plus une personne, seulement un fruit de votre imagination. Je suis fou je sais. J'ai perdu mon esprit. S'il vous plaît laissez-moi savoir si vous le trouvez. Faites une liste de qui je devrais être donc je peux être cette personne. Dites-moi quoi faire et quoi ne pas faire. Je veux juste vous faire plaisir, peu importe combien ça me fait mal moi. Jusqu'à mon dernier jour sur terre, Je suis mais un serviteur pour faire ta volonté. Dis-moi ce que tu veux que je fasse et il sera être fait. *pend la tête dans la honte*
Voyant que la manière je ne peux plus excusons, je vais poster moins de commentaires sur les pages. Je ne vais pas changer qui je suis. Si cela implique de changer mon avenir, alors qu'il en soit. Peut-être, Je ne suis pas fait pour ce après tout. Qu'il ne veut pas dire que je donne jusqu'à, mais plutôt que je dois trouver une autre façon de faire que je veux. Sacrifices doivent parfois être faite. J'espère que peu importe le résultat est, vous serez toujours derrière moi. Il est maintenant temps d'agir. "Tous pour un et un pour tous!" "Prenez ce que vous pouvez. Donnent rien retour."
Apparently I have been banned from apologizing of any kind...so I'd apologize for not being able to apologize, but I'd get in trouble...
I want to apologize to anyone I've offended, for things I've said/not said, done/haven't done, etc to everyone for things that have happened, are happening, and will/may happen...please forgive me.
This year has been one of the best years of my life so far. I quit my job at walmart. Loved cake decorating but had a few personal issues(plus I really missed watching my races). Joined up in the conversion in the JTGD chat room. Started taking care of the chat logs for them.
Okay, as Talladega creeps ups and everything is coming to a close as far as to what JTG Daugherty Racing and Bobby are doing next season I'm going to throw my idea out there. Contrary to popular belief, I do not know what their real plans are. I only know as much as we've been told as well as the numerous rumors that have been going around. Now mind you I've based this plan on my ulterior motives haha. ;) Do NOT take anything I say here as a reflection of anything they have planned, because again I know absolutely nothing.
Age 4-5: Acting
Age 5-6: First grader
Age 7-12: Acting, Dancer
Age 13-14: Acting, Race car driver
Age 15-17: Race car driver, Miss America (now called Miss USA)
Age 18-19: Chemistry and Physics Teacher
Age 20: Acting
Age 21: unknown
As you can tell, I'm not sure anymore of where I'm going or what I want to do anymore. Hoping I can figure it out soon, but for now only time will tell.