Well it's been a little while since my last post. Since then, I had my 22nd birthday, which I now get to share with my niece. Her name is Evey Antoinette and she was born at 12:08 AM Jan 20, 2012; 7 lb 2 oz and 19 in long. She is so precious and she cries every time I hold her. I hope she gets used to me.
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Well, I cannot help but feel a little nervous heading into my next classes. Looking at some samples of what a couple of other classmates have accomplished already, I’m really beginning to think that maybe I jumped too soon. As far as psychology goes, it was never my best subject. Hopefully this time around I’ll be able to study in a better way to allow me to get through it.
I know that several have told me to have a good day based on what I have. So, I'm not allowed to ever have a bad day either? I'm not supposed to apologize, I have to be happy, and everything has to be perfect. Well, I said I'm sorry, I'm not happy, and nothing was right today. I think it's about time I made a change. I am not sure that I want to tell you what my plan is, because someone will tell me what's wrong with or want me to add this or that to it. It's my life and gosh darn it, I want to do what I want with it.
From Alabama:
Santa Claus (I Still Believe in You) Joseph and Mary's Boy Christmas Memories Tonight is Christmas Tennessee Christmas A Candle in the Window At five was when I started my acting phase. I would perform and direct Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs constantly. I had the entire movie memorized and I wasted a lot of apples. Though mom would buy me the Delicious apples, which are not delicious and worked perfectly for this. Anyway, as I said before I started Kindergarten in the fall of 1995. I remember I was always the wife/mother whenever we played house. I remember getting in trouble by a couple classmates one day when I went to build with the bricks with them. They didn't like invaders I guess. I remember losing my two bottom front teeth on the same day and Mrs. Daugherty, the teacher, let me call my mom to tell her and mom said she was coming to school. Well, I was excited so during nap time I told the classmate next to me that mom was coming. I got in trouble and had my clothespin down. That was the first and last time I got in trouble in Kindergarten. I remember the balloon letters and numbers and the songs we listened to during nap time. Never once slept, oops. I remember on the paper we filled out to introduce ourselves to our classmates, it asked what I wanted to be when I grew up...my response was to be a first grader. Just taking one thing at a time I guess. I made a new friend, Elizabeth. We decided we'd be best friends at recess so we hugged; we got in trouble. (I mean seriously, for a hug...ugh)
My mom told me that before I was born, no one but her knew I was a girl and that she had already nicknamed me Meggie(or at least that's how I would spell it). However, after I was born my father started calling me that and she never used that name again nor do I ever go by that name now.
Anyway, I was born at eleven forty-three post meridiem on Saturday the twentieth of January in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred ninety. From what I’ve been told, I was born with an insane amount of hair and covered in white goo stuff. I had to stay an extra day because of a jaundice issue. However, they released mom before they told her I had to stay another day so she had to leave me there overnight. I was released the next day, but had to come back for a check up the next. That same day there was a blizzard and when mom, dad, and I returned home, they found out that my two sisters and my brother were being held at the schools they attended. So needless to say, after the trouble of dad having to go get them in the blizzard rather than having them already home simply because they took me for a check up I feel guilty. Of course, I don’t remember this, but this is what I’ve been told and I believe it to be true as there would be no reason to lie. I do not understand why things that I think would be best for me would hurt or be bad for so many people in my life. I do not like disappointing people, I do not like hurting them, and I certainly never want to lose them. So at this point I am still unsure of where to go or what to do that would benefit everyone and not just myself, but I don't know how long those solutions will last without one or both sides losing. I feel so torn between what I want to do, what I can do, and what I should do. Some people tell me I have potential in this or that, but even if I wanted to do them I'm not sure how to get there or if it's actual even possible for me. So in my current situation, I may kind of take this week off and ponder. I do apologize ahead of time for any inconveniences this may cause. However should you need me, you know how to reach me, or at least you should by now....
People often see me as a friendly helpful person, always willing to do whatever it takes to help someone else without even thinking about how it'll work out for me. It's hard sometimes to keep smiling through everything and pretend that everything in my life is perfect. In fact my life is very far from the perfection that is believed. I often am found drifting off into a world of fiction that I wish was reality and what I would consider the perfect life where everything I want just sort of comes to me.
Today, the racing world lost Dan Weldon. The utter horror of that wreck still haunts my memory; I'm glad I wasn't there. I cannot truly imagine the real sheer loss of losing someone that way. I can only grieve and pray the best that I can. The racing world also lost off-road racer Rick Huseman and his brother Jeff. It is not a good day in the racing world, so I cannot stress enough that sometimes you have to slow down to go fast, buckle up, and live every moment of life to the fullest. And I cannot thank each and everyone in my life for being the fabulous people that you are. I love you all!
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